You know those moments when it feels like you’re the only person feeling what you’re feeling? As if there isn’t another soul in the world that could feel the same as you?
I understand that sentiment. I’ve even felt it.
But that thought is wrong.
I’ve come to understand just how many people, no matter how varied their lives or experiences are, can, have and maybe are actively feeling the exact same way as you.
The pain of heartache, the sadness of loneliness, the rush of anger, the joy of achievement, the elation of gratitude.
You’ve felt this, I’ve felt this, and someone else thousands of miles away from either of us has felt this.
It doesn’t matter what evoked these feelings, it just matters that we felt them.
They create a shared experience; they remind us that we’re not alone; they show us that we are connected no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that we aren’t.
Feelings can push us far from others or ourselves or bring us close together. And while wanting to flee from the very thing that makes us human — feelings — we find ourselves liberated when we see them, accept them, and let them go instead.
In truth, there is no right or wrong way to feel.
It’s what comes from the feelings, how we react to them, what we do with them, and how we let them guide or influence our lives (or not) that matters most.
The myth of feelings
“Only embrace the high vibes, never the low.”
“Tuck those feelings away so they don’t get in the way.”
“Happiness should be the only goal.”
“Don’t flee from your shame.”
You may have heard these statements before or something like them. Maybe from your boss, friend, family member, random “expert” on the internet, or even your own mind.
Maybe you internalized them and repeated them to yourself. Maybe you repeated them so much that they became a core belief, which now crafts your entire personality.
Whatever it may be, I’m here to remind you that you’re not alone in feeling any of these ways. But here’s the truth:
- Ignoring those “low vibe” feelings does more harm than good. See them, embrace them, learn from them (if they have something to share), and then let them go. In truth, feelings are just energy in motion, they don’t want to be kept in a container (your mind or body), they want to flow. Let them.
- Don’t tuck, again, express, embrace, and let them flow. You’ll be less distracted in the long run if you give yourself time to acknowledge and process your feelings.
- Ask yourself, does it make sense for happiness to be the only goal? What about just being alive and living life fully? When you do that, what other feelings may arise? Can you accept that all feelings add add to your aliveness?
- Whew, shame is a doozy. But I have to agree, don’t flee from this feeling. And definitely don’t make it a core personality trait. Accept what you feel guilty about, learn the lesson it was meant to teach you, and move on from there.
Feelings can be…
I get it, sometimes feelings can be a lot to navigate. Sometimes they’re clear, and other times they’re murky.
But the key is to feel. And what makes this even better is to share your feelings.
Soon you’ll see our shared humanity in feeling and so will the people around you.
It’s okay to let life flow, just remember to do it.
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EcoWell Co. 