Breathwork as a tool for life: How breathing is saving me

How long can you hold your breath before you start gasping for air? Before your mind starts to race and body beg for life?

Breath is life. It is the foundation of our lives. Without it, we die.

Even if you’ve trained yourself to hold you breath for 20 minutes, eventually, you’ll find yourself needing air.

Just as breath is life, it’s also a tool any of us can use at any point in time.

Stressed or anxious? Take 2 second inhales and 6 second exhales a few times to calm down.
Depressed? You likely have energy stuck somewhere in your body or energy field—a repressed emotion or feeling that needs a nudge to move. More rapid breathing like the breath of fire can help to get the energy moving again. You can also practice alternate nostril breathing as well, which also works well for stress and anxiety.

What I just described to you is breathwork—a deliberate control of your breath for a specific purpose.

Similar to blowing out a candle, exhaling underwater so you can dive deeper, or that random sigh you take to calm down, you use your breath deliberately already.

But what can it really do for you if you decide to adopt a daily practice of breathwork? I’ll share my story.

From wanting to die to living again

I struggled with anxiety and depression since I can remember. Eighth grade was the first time I recall actually attempting to guzzle some pills just for that not to work.

As I got older, I kept thinking of all the ways I could die. Driving into an 18-wheeler going 75 miles an hour—an idea I had as a truck zoomed by at 16.

Later at 24, I had the opportunity to buy my first gun just for me to change my mind at the last second because I couldn’t trust myself to not point it at myself.

In fact, I created the Meditation Matters Podcast in 2018 (the same year I was 24) as a means to help me no longer want to die. I figured plunging myself into the wellness space would help me in some way—I saw it as a tool to liberation from the very things that kept me in that cycle.

Even with the podcast seeing success, eventually birthing EcoWell Co. in 2020, suicidal ideation was never far behind. I experienced moments of reprieve of course, which often left me thinking I was finally freed of it, knowing deep down, I wasn’t.

Yet, the repressed, depressed, and suppressed feelings and memories I struggled with were beginning to move and shake as I practiced shadow work and shared my journey with others.

But something still hadn’t completely moved.

Now I’m 30 and it’s 2024. As the year began, I struggled with the same thing again: wanting to die. But this time it was compounded.

Global and personal stress and unrest left me more drained and exhausted than ever before. I was bursting at the seems with anxiety.

So I made a decision—find a therapist stat.

Quickly after starting, I realized I needed to change a lot of things: my lifestyle, diet, routines, expectations, and core beliefs.

I needed to set boundaries in relationships I never had before (i.e. family). I learned the phrase “emotional burnout” and realized that whenever I was burntout emotionally (from people pleasing, etc.) I wanted to die.

That realization set off a light bulb in my being I don’t think I would’ve realized without therapy. It solidified the importance of and need for boundaries, for giving less f***s, and for creating new routines that are rooted in things that bring me joy and pleasure, daily.

Two things I’ve included into my routine are daily massages, lots of prayer, and breathwork.

I prefer this guided breathwork exercise—a short 10 minute experience that includes quick breaths and long exhales to stimulate both my sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems followed with meditation and self-reiki.

This combination with therapy is finally, actually, in a deep rooted way, rewiring my brain. I can feel it, I can see it in my lived reality. And, God, am I beginning to feel more relief than ever before.

In truth, how else could I actually, consistently, and more authentically show up for the spaces and communities I’m building if I felt shame around the fact I wanted to die more often than I’d like to admit?

Now, even midday or the middle of a conversation or before I rest at night, I slow down and pause to breathe. I’m taking on less so I can have more room to show up lighter, softer, and more at ease even if everything is burning down around me.

Breathing to return to life

Breathwork is helping me return to myself. The blossoming flower that I always envisioned myself to be, knowing that she isn’t some other or better person, she’s just me—complete in all her ways.

Breathwork is helping me be more alert, more engaged. It’s helping me to calm my mind and body; to have enough clarity to resettle in my faith, to maintain hope of a harmonious future for us all.

Breathwork is helping me to sit and write with greater confidence; to better express my truth in totality and to release the need to keep the peace if it means violating or harming myself.

Breathwork is helping me connect to my body in a more intimate way. When combing breathwork with active movement and a diet change, I can hear my body talk to me VERY clearly.

Breathwork is reminding me that I am in control of:

my breath
my body
my mind
my responses and reactions
my beliefs
my faith
my goals
my actions and efforts
my desires
my habits
who I let around me
who I take time for
my boundaries

And so much more.

It’s reminding me that’s it’s up to me to be an active co-creator in my life.

God blessed me gifts, my ancestors passed down powers, and my body knows the way. Thus, breathwork is helping me to reconnect with those truths and many more within me and around me.

To see clearly, know clearly, and do clearly with love at the center of my heart.

Try it for yourself

If you’re curious about breathwork, start by first recognizing your breath.

Notice the way it feels on your inhale. What expands? What’s the temperature when it enters through your nose?

On your exhale, notice what contracts, and the temperature of it.

Then take a deep inhale in through your nose and out through your mouth. Do that 3 times.

Then try either of these exercises:

Box breathing (or equal parts breath): inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts. Repeat 10x. You can also increase or decrease the count (i.e. 1-1-1-1 for more rapid breathing or 8-8-8-8 for slower breathing)
Parasympathetic breathing (activating your rest and digest state): inhale deeply for 2 seconds through your nose then exhale for 6 seconds through your mouth with your lips pursed as if you’re going to whistle. Repeat 10x.

Try one or both of these each day for the next 7 days. Take note of how you feel beforehand and afterwards for each day.

When you’ve completed the 7th day, come back and tell me how it went for you.

Key takeaways

Breathwork is a powerful tool that anyone can use at any point in time to manage stress, anxiety, and depression.
My personal journey shows how breathwork, along with other lifestyle changes and therapy, has led to a transformative experience from a state of despair to regaining control and finding relief.
Practicing breathwork helps me reconnect with my body, mind, and spirit, and empowers me to take control of my overall well-being.
Explore different forms of breathwork exercises and observe their effects on your well-being over the next 7 days.

Thanks for being here and Happy June new moon 🙂

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