Life moves fast for many of us. So fast that sometimes the perspectives we have, ideas in our heads, or the weights that we carry aren’t even our own.
I mentioned to a friend how vital it was for me to slow down and focus on my work. She says, “as long as it’s your work and not someone else’s [as a means to keep up with society].”
I pause for a second to reflect on what “my work” really means. Then a few seconds later I respond, “No, this is the work of my soul. The work I was called to do here.”
Whether here is for this season or the next, I know for certain I was placed here to serve as a beacon of light, a beacon of love for Self, Earth, and God all around and within.
It hasn’t been easy allowing myself to embody my calling fully. I’ve been resistant. Matter of fact, scared.
Scared of what it could mean to actually DO the work and do it well. To actually be that beacon, completely, undeniably, unabashedly.
I’ve encountered countless opportunities over the years to fully embody my calling, yet fear kept me in a small space.
A fear of success is real.
It can show up as:
- What if I don’t have what it takes to do the work completely?
- What if I’m not good enough?
- What if I fail?
- What if I let myself or others down?
- What if I actually get a chance to experience peace and ease and riches beyond my wonders?
- What if I actually see success the way God always intended for me?
The hard truth is…
When you’re used to chaos or convincing yourself that you’re lesser than or that you’re value is only but so much, embodying your power can be difficult.
You feel too small or insufficient to take on this perceived mighty call that continues to beckon at your heart.
You may even find yourself trying to sabotage your call or natural inclinations to create, share, teach, etc. whether you realize this or not… whether you like it or not.
The same goes for love.
Maybe you’ve experienced or done something in the past that harmed someone or yourself in a romantic way. Maybe childhood was traumatic and filled with pain, maybe you were neglected, abandoned, harmed, judged, etc. by others in love (in any form of love) that convinced you that love was never meant for you.
Then love finds you, innocently looking to love all parts of you. And no matter how much work you’ve done to better yourself, you still push it away, you still sabotage it, you still convince yourself that you don’t deserve it (yet or ever).
This is where a fundamental self-concept shows that you’ve convinced yourself that you don’t deserve love.
But, what happens when you accept a new idea?
That idea being:
- What if I deserve love no matter what happened?
- What if my efforts to heal and change my ways deserve love and acceptance?
- That even before those efforts, I always deserved love?
Would you still knowingly or unknowingly sabotage the love that has come to you?
Noticing the cycle of self sabotage takes effort. Then doing something to end the cycle takes even more.
It takes a willingness to slow down and recognize where you may still be operating from a place of lack of self worth, self value, or self esteem—from a cyclic place of fear, hurt, and/or harm.
From a pattern that has yet to release its grips on you only because you haven’t released your grips on it.
Creating space for clarity allows you to clear the noise in the mind that convinces you that you’re worthless or undeserving of success or love or whatever you’re navigating.
Learning to step fully and completely in your power takes you being willing to accept that you have power to begin with, that you have gifts meant to be shared, and that your heart deserves to be gently held, loved, and cared for.
But first, in many instances, you have to accept and convince yourself that you’ve always innately deserved to have all of this.
How to create space for self
Now on to the part of creating space for yourself to even do the necessary self reflection needed to identify where and how you may be getting in your own way.
For mental clarity
One of the fastest ways to create space within yourself (mind, body, soul, etc. ) is with your breath.
The inhale brings in oxygen which feeds your blood cells, a vital nutrient your brain needs to function and operate clearly. When we breathe deeply, it relaxes the body and supplies it with even more oxygen.
All of these are necessary so you can process information from daily life and big decisions to solving problems and creating new things.
Try these breathing exercise when you’re feeling cloudy, heavy, or overwhelmed:
- Extended exhales: breathe in through your nose for 2 counts, then breathe out of your mouth with pursed lips (like you’re blowing a kiss) for 4 counts. You an increase the count and do 4 counts inhale and 8 counts exhale. Repeat 10x or more.
- Equal parts breath: breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, and hold for 4 counts, then repeat 10x ore more. You can increase the count as needed.
You can use these breathing techniques anywhere and at anytime as needed. Whether that’s at the start of your day or in the midst of a dis-regulating situation, you can consciously use your breath to slow yourself down.
(You do it naturally already; think that deep sigh you do instinctively when distressed).
For internal shifts
Just like with breathwork, you’ll want to get out of the mind and into the body, which can be monumental for creating space for internal shifts.
Another tool is somatic (body) movement. This includes yoga, qi-gong, boxing, rocking, tapping, undulations of your spin, a quick self massage, dancing, reiki… the list could go on.
Make time to do a movement practice that speaks to you on a daily basis, like 20 mins of a calming yoga flow, an hour of a HIIT workout, or 10 mins of qigong to balance and restore your energy.
Try out this 20 minute yoga practice to help you navigate internal shifts:
You can also check out this 12 minute qigong routine if this calls to you more:
And one that I incorporate in all of my workshops and sessions is body tapping as a way to awaken your energy (or qi) and increase circulation and flow (all of which are vital for the internal shifts).
Check out this video for a demonstration:
For integration
Something that isn’t talked about enough is practices to ease integration of an internal shift or something similar. integration is necessary after medicine journeys, moving locations, shedding an old identity, after a therapy session, a hard workout, and much more.
But first, let’s define integration so we’re on the same page. To integrate means to combine two or more things together for them to become one or whole.
So when you learn something new, it can take time for that lesson to fully integrate (or for you to understand and/or embody the lesson).
How long this takes can vary along your journey and depending on what you’re allowing to integrate.
For instance, after a reiki session, I share the importance of not rushing back into the stressors of daily life. I recommend allowing time for integration (allowing the healing energy of reiki to move through and combine with their energy).
This mindfulness allows clients to intentionally take the time they need after a session to allow the energy to settle and the healing to fully take root (or combine) in their body for lasting benefits.
Of course getting reiki done regularly is ideal, but this is the same for other practices like:
- Learning a new skill
- Studying for an exam and letting the info settle in your mind
- Taking a rest day after 4 hard days in the gym.
- And more…
Shameless plug here: you can book a 60 minute distance reiki healing session with me!
It works just as well as an in-person session. But, if you’d prefer in person and are in the DMV or in a place I’m traveling, let’s heal!
Here are a few practices I recommend to create space for integration:
- Breathwork, like Yoga nidra, a calming practice you can do before bed
- Light stretching, like this 10-minute seated yoga routine you can do daily to calm the mind and body and maintain a level of flexibility (plus, it’s guaranteed you time)
- Meditation to allow the noise (or dust) to settle and to practice being here and now
- Journaling to create space in your mind and to express your feelings or thoughts (anything that may arise during your integration period).
- A good journal prompt: “What am I feeling right now? What is my body feeling?” Sit with these daily and see what comes up. Be honest and practice accepting whatever arises.
- Dedicated you time, including a hobby, time in nature, or anything else that helps you reflect, acknowledge, accept, and adjust as needed at this time.
Creating space is up to you
Life can be fast. Life can be busy. Life can be distracting.
But if you give yourself the chance to create space in your life—for your shifts and changes—you’ll gradually experience more ease as other shifts occur in the future.
Give yourself grace to be human, space to feel and process, and the joy of breathing in a bit deeper each day. You deserve it. Your soul deserves.
Rest and let be.
Asé.
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